It's been a little while since I've updated. I haven't been able to bring myself to put my thoughts down to where they would become permanent because my thoughts and feelings were quite literally turned upside down on July 19th. I was driving home from work, which is about a 40 minute beautiful drive down country roads, and as usual called my parents to just catch up and chit chat. Nothing out of the ordinary, or so I thought. I got home, fed the furry babies and sat down at the computer to check my email. In walked my husband from work, about 30 minutes before he was supposed to be off - still I thought nothing was out of the ordinary. I was chatting with MedicMan, just talking about our day, when his phone rang. Apparently mine had rang several times, but I had left it in the other room, which I do much to the annoyance of MedicMan, fairly often. My mother was calling me back and because I didn't answer my phone, called MedicMan's phone. He handed me the phone and her words to me, "I have something to tell you" struck fear into my very soul. I knew even before she continued that something horrible was going to change our lives in a matter of seconds.
"I've been diagnosed with stage I breast cancer". All I heard was breast cancer. I let her speak as she told me that she'd been to the doctor that morning and this had been on-going since July 5th, when her routine mammogram had revealed a suspicious spot. A routine mammogram that she nearly decided to skip this year, but by the grace of God, did not. MedicMan came home early from work, because she called my daughter first to tell her, since I was at work and then driving home. My daughter then called MedicMan, who called my mother to find out all of the medical details, then he immediately called his supervisor and got off the truck early so he could be home when Mom called to tell me. I'm not sure exactly what they all thought would happen when I got the news, but apparently they thought I wouldn't receive it well. They were probably right. I spent the rest of the night and most of the next day numb.
Looking back, I probably did not walk the walk - I'm a very faithful person, but at that very moment in time, I was scared. Yes, I prayed. I prayed probably harder and longer than I've prayed for something in a very long time. But did I feel "faithful"? I don't know if I felt a complete sense of peace, as my mother claims she felt. But I do know I felt that the Lord was already on it. That He already knew the outcome and that He wanted me to just trust Him. So I did - I had no other choice. He is the Healer and His will would be done. I prayed hard and long that His will would be that everything would be fine and life could go back to the way it was when I woke up on July 19th.
Things began to move very quickly. It's amazing how fast things can get done when doctors want to go on vacation - but whatever the reason - it couldn't be fast enough for us. A cardiology consult was needed and Mom didn't have a cardiologist, so the surgeon's office got her in to see one - one of the best in that area, so we are told. He was reluctant to sign off on the surgery with such a short notice on a new patient, but finally realized that she was in a catch 22 situation. Either she had the surgery, which meant coming off of blood thinners for a week, or she didn't - and the cancer would continue to grow. To me, there was no option. Yes, there was risk coming off of the blood thinners, but it was a "risk". Not having the surgery was setting her up for certain death from breast cancer. The surgery was scheduled.
On July 29, only 24 days from the initial mammogram, Mom underwent a lumpectomy, and 3 lymph nodes were removed. It was hoped that she would be eligible for a new treatment procedure called Mammosite. Mammosite is small, saline filled balloon that is inserted into the cavity created by the lumpectomy. Once the pathology report confirms that there is no involvement of the lymph nodes, the radiation is administered directly into the balloon, thereby eliminating the need to radiate the entire breast. Treatment is twice a day for five days. That's it. Amazing!
Mom went for her follow up with the surgeon and to receive the pathology report six days after her surgery. The report was good, no cancer cells in the surrounding tissue or any of the lymph nodes. Praise God!!! She was fitted for her Mammosite balloon and received her first radiation treatment that day. The entire process takes 7 minutes. She's done next week. In just over 30 days, our world went from perfect - to topsy turvy - to perfect once more. I can't believe it's been only a month, but on the other hand I can't believe all that has been accomplishing in only a month. We give all the praise and glory to God, for He really does hold us all in His loving hand.
This song was one that we sang in church this morning. I picture myself, sitting at His feet, lying back against Him, and hearing His heart beat. That is where I find comfort during the storm. Deep in His arms, feeling His heartbeat and knowing that He will make my topsy turvy world right side up again.
The More I Seek You (Video)
Lyrics to The More I Seek You :
The more i seek you,
the more i find you.
The more i find you,
the more I love you
I wanna sit at your feet
drink from the cup in your hand.
Lay back against you and breath,
hear your heart beat
This love is so deep,
it's more than I can stand.
I melt in your peace, it's overwhelming
The more i seek you,
the more i find you.
The more i find you,
the more I love you
I wanna sit at your feet
drink from the cup in your hand.
Lay back against you and breath,
hear your heart beat
This love is so deep,
it's more than I can stand.
I melt in your peace, it's overwhelming
I wanna sit at your feet
drink from the cup in your hand.
Lay back against you and breath,
hear your heart beat
This love is so deep,
it's more than I can stand.
I melt in your peace, it's overwhelming
I wanna sit at your feet
drink from the cup in your hand.
Lay back against you and breath,
hear your heart beat
This love is so deep,
it's more than I can stand.
I melt in your peace...
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